Everyone has their own unique relationship to the cannabis plant, but if you’re in a relationship, the frequency with which your partner uses cannabis can have an effect on you. If you think your partner uses cannabis too heavily (or could benefit to use it more), talking to them about it might be a tough conversation. On the one hand, you don’t want to be accusatory or prescriptive, and on the other, you want them to have a healthy relationship to weed.
Before you broach the topic, ask yourself some questions to determine if it’s appropriate to bring up.
How do you think your partner’s cannabis consumption might be interfering with your relationship?
Do you find it difficult to connect when your partner is too high? Do they prefer to spend time smoking alone than with you? Do they avoid responsibilities when they’re high and does that frustrate you?
Is your partner accomplishing their goals?
Is cannabis helping them be creative, or is it a crutch? Are they productive when they’re high, or should they cut back to evenings and weekends? Is cannabis improving their life?
Are they spending too much money on weed?
Perhaps their tolerance has gone up and they need to cut back to save money. That could also be a good indicator of how much weed they smoke or how much more they’ve been smoking recently.
What do they do when they’re high?
Does weed make you partner too tired, or do they get the munchies too often? (And do they eat healthy munchies?) Is it having an effect on the rest of their day or ability to enjoy spending time with you?
Do you bear the brunt of household responsibilities when they’re high?
You don’t want to get resentful if your partner is chilling on the couch getting high while you’re doing the dishes. Or if you’re parents, you likely may want help with your baby or children rather than to feel as if you’re doing all the work while your partner isn’t. Work out a schedule so that you can both have downtime together and apart, while ensuring that living responsibilities are split equally.
Does your partner get too paranoid or anxious when they’re high?
Maybe they need to smoke a different strain or cut back altogether.
Is your partner a pain patient? Do they have insomnia or anxiety?
If your partner doesn’t already use cannabis and you think they could benefit from it, try to suggest small doses at first. Introduce it to them subtly — offer them a few puffs of your own joint or vape pen, or buy some edible microdoses.
These are all questions to ask yourself and answer if you think your partner’s relationship to cannabis could use some improvement. When you talk to them about it, emphasize that while everyone has their own way of connecting to cannabis, your concerns might have an impact on the relationship between the two of you. Remind your partner that you’re looking to ensure a better quality of life both for them, and for the sake of your connection to each other. It can be awkward to approach the topic at first, but try to do so in the least judgmental way possible. When someone needs help with something, they may be more sensitive to constructive, well-meaning criticism.
